How to date as a Christian – Jenson Metcalf
Love is a terrifying thing. It exposes the parts of ourselves that we often wish to keep hidden. Yet, despite the risks, we were made for love and connection. Today, we explore what it means to date in light of the love of Jesus Christ. This isn’t just a sermon for those who are single and searching for a partner; it’s for everyone. Whether you’re married, single, or living a celibate lifestyle, understanding how our relationship with God informs our romantic lives is essential.
The Foundation of Connection
We were all made for connection with God and others. This is why we spent time discussing friendship before diving into dating. The Church often elevates marriage as the ultimate connection, but the fullness of God can be expressed through singleness as well. After all, Jesus Himself was single during His time on earth.
Interestingly, the Gospels do not provide specific instructions on dating or courtship. The early Church fathers spoke of marriage, not dating, as it was not a cultural norm at the time. In recent years, the dating landscape has changed dramatically, influenced by cultural shifts and movements. From the nuclear family ideal of the 1950s to the hookup culture of the 70s, our understanding of relationships has evolved.
Even today, many people are turning to AI for companionship, highlighting a growing sense of loneliness and a desire for meaningful intimacy.
A Theological Approach to Dating
So, where do we go from here? Should we return to traditional courtship models of arranged marriages or adopt cultural perspectives on dating? The answer lies in understanding that dating should be viewed through a theological lens. It’s not just about finding a partner; it’s about integrating our relationships with our discipleship to Jesus.
In Matthew 4:18-22, we see Jesus calling His disciples. They dropped everything to follow Him. Following Christ costs us something—everything. Our relationships become part of our journey with Him.
We often compartmentalize our lives, asking God to join us in certain areas while keeping others off-limits. But God is not just a part of our lives; He is the foundation of it all. When we say yes to Jesus, we invite Him into every aspect of our lives, including our romantic relationships.
The Great Commandment
Mark 12:28-31 reminds us of the greatest commandment: to love God and love our neighbor. These commands are intertwined; loving our neighbor is a reflection of our love for God.
In dating, this means seeing our potential partners as neighbors deserving of respect and care. It shifts our focus from viewing them as objects to be conquered to recognizing their inherent worth as individuals created in the image of God.
Leading with Values
Dating with Jesus also means letting values lead. In Philippians 2:3-5, Paul encourages us to consider others more significant than ourselves. When we date, we should prioritize shared values and interests.
Instead of rushing into vulnerability, we should focus on understanding each other’s values. Questions like “What does community mean to you?” or “How do you connect with God?” can lay a solid foundation for a relationship.
Purposeful, Not Pressured
Dating should be purposeful, not pressured. In our culture, we often place unrealistic expectations on dating relationships, treating them as auditions for marriage. But dating should be a joyful exploration of connection and discovery.
As Dr. Henry Cloud points out, dating should be fun! It’s an opportunity to learn about ourselves and others, to enjoy life, and to grow together.
When we approach dating with the joy of the Lord, we create an environment where both partners can thrive. This doesn’t guarantee that every date will lead to marriage, but it fosters a life filled with connection, discovery, and joy.
Conclusion: A Journey with Christ
Ultimately, dating as a follower of Christ is another step on our journey of faith. It’s about learning to love our neighbors, discovering shared values, and enjoying the process.
Love is indeed a terrifying thing, but it’s also a beautiful journey. It calls us to step into connection with courage, whether that means asking someone out, saying yes to a date, or even breaking up with someone who isn’t right for us.
As we navigate the complexities of dating, let’s remember that we are all on a journey with Christ. Whether we are dating, married, or single, we can invite others into this journey with us.
May we long for a simple and purposeful faith in all our relationships, allowing the love of Christ to guide us. Let’s embrace the joy of connection, knowing that God desires to sanctify all our relationships through the power of the Holy Spirit.
In the end, love is about connection, and we were made for it. Let’s step into love with courage and allow it to transform our lives and relationships.